Manchester United completed the shock deadline-day signing of 21-year-old defender Andy Kellett on loan from Bolton, prompting the world to ask, “Who is Andy Kellett and why does Man United executive Ed Woodward insist on doing all of his drugs during the transfer window?” We may never know the answer to the second part of that question, but we do have some information to help clear up the first part.
Author: Brooks Peck
Footballers looking miserable while being unveiled at a new club
The January transfer window has mercifully shut, ending an underwhelming month that had no chance of living up to the hype that was forced upon it. And if there was one image to sum it up, it had to be that of defender Robert Huth, sent from Stoke to Leicester on loan until the end of the season, sullenly holding up his new shirt.
And if there were five images to sum it up, the other four would be these of 74-year-old Aaron Lennon…
Aaron Lennon looks delighted to have joined Everton on loan. pic.twitter.com/H05H4Ddtpz
— Eurosport.com (@EurosportCom_EN) February 3, 2015
But Huth and Lennon are far from the first players to look like they just watched Requiem for a Dream before being unveiled by a new club. Here are just a few others.
DTotD: Klaas-Jan Huntelaar gets six-match ban for kicking out at opponent
Klaas-Jan Huntelaar was shown a red card for kicking Manuel Schmiedebach’s legs from behind during Schalke’s 1-0 loss to Hannover 96 on Saturday and now he’s been banned six matches for it.
Here’s the challenge in question…
The BBC brings transfer deadline day to new levels of absurdity with “weather” report and “computer game expert”
Just when you think transfer deadline day can’t get anymore ridiculous than it already is, someone thinks of something to take it to another level of nonsense that renders all attempts to mock it useless. And this time, that has been achieved by the most unexpected of sources: The BBC.
To truly make deadline day feel like someone spiked your morning coffee with LSD, they produced a special weather report featuring handshakes rainclouds and giant manager heads spotting a map of England. It is the stuff of nightmares.
Demba Ba scores unintentional goal of the season with his backside
While Aston Villa couldn’t score a goal to save a box full of puppies, Demba Ba is putting them in even when he doesn’t realize it.
Ba seemed to have his 19th goal of the season in Besiktas’ Turkish SuperLig match against Mersin Idmanyurdu, but the goalkeeper made a fine save with his foot. The ball pinged back towards Ba though, bouncing off his rear end as he was face down on the ground, and looping into the empty net.
When Ba got back up on his knees, he wasn’t quick to celebrate as it seemed he had no idea what just happened. But even if he didn’t see it, the goal was still enough to help Besiktas to a 2-1 win.
Icardi and Guarin throw their shirts to fans after Inter loss, fans throw them back, anger ensues
Inter lost 3-1 at Sassuolo on Sunday, and the traveling the supporters were not pleased with the performance. Failing to recognize this, Fredy Guarin and Mauro Icardi, who scored Inter’s only goal, tossed their shirts into the crowd and the crowd tossed them right back.
Frank Lampard’s return to Stamford Bridge (as a title rival) in pictures
After scoring a late equalizer against his former club earlier this season, Frank Lampard returned to Stamford Bridge for the first time since leaving Chelsea for Not New York. There were emotions. And signs. And another 1-1 draw.
Here’s the photographic evidence…
“You know better football than me?”: Zlatan toys with reporter who asks about Cavani relationship
Not content with just making the referee in PSG’s 1-0 win over Rennes submit to his will, Zlatan Ibrahimovic also made a Dutch journalist dance for him after the game. The reporter asked about rumors about Zlatan and Edinson Cavani not getting along on or off the pitch and Zlatan did not appreciate this. But rather than just walk away from the question, Zlatan stayed and batted him around like a bored lion with a bloodied gazelle.
Future News: Jose Mourinho goes on hunger strike for the duration of Diego Costa’s ban
Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho has interrupted his self-imposed media silence to announce his plan to go on a hunger strike until the end of Diego Costa’s three-match ban for stamping on Liverpool’s Emre Can.
Harry Kane is good at kicking American footballs too
Being England’s next great hope is a sentence of certain doom, so Tottenham striker Harry Kane is getting a start on exploring other careers. And with the Super Bowl coming up (which Harry is apparently very excited about), he decided to try kicking a field goal. Without the proper goal posts.
Kane’s kick was long and straight and might get the attention of NFL scouts. But even if it doesn’t, Ted Lasso will be proud.