In July, Louis van Gaal teased the arrival of a “surprise” mystery striker who might not even be a striker. For a solid month, fans and pundits have tried to figure out the answer to this transfer window riddle to no avail. But now, Van Gaal has finally revealed that the surprise was the fact that the non-striker mystery striker has been on the team all along and that he is midfielder Marouane Fellaini.
Author: Brooks Peck
Borussia Dortmund resurgence coincides with pizza ban
A year after finishing seventh with a boost from a late surge during Jurgen Klopp’s last days as manager, Borussia Dortmund have gotten off to an impressive start under Thomas Tuchel. They’ve won each of their first two Bundesliga by a score of 4-0 and came back from 3-0 down to beat Odd Grenland 4-3 in their Europa League qualifying playoff. And they’ve done this while not being allowed to eat pizza, pasta, or any other delicious carbohydrates.
Damien Duff inspired to donate all his wages to charity by his son’s heart surgery
When former Chelsea winger Damien Duff joined Shamrock Rovers last month, it was reported that he would donate his wages to charity and end his career on an altruistic note. Since David Beckham did the same thing at PSG on a larger scale, Duff’s gesture seems to have received limited attention, but his reasons for doing it have nothing to do with PR or a desire to copy Beckham.
Uruguayan player throws himself off stretcher in attempt to waste more time
After winning the first leg of their Copa Sudamericana first-stage tie 4-1, Uruguayan club Juventud found themselves in a bit of trouble during the second leg when Real Potosi scored twice to make the aggregate score 4-3. Realizing the danger here, Juventud’s Matias Alonso did the only thing in his power as a footballer to try and preserve the lead: he faked an injury.
Claiming to have a cramp, Alonso drew the ire of his opponents as the medical cart came out so he could be loaded onto a stretcher and driven away in the 78th minute. But the medics were too good at their job. Alonso still wanted to waste more time, but they had already loaded him onto the stretcher and were mere seconds away from removing him from the pitch. He had to think fast. So as they lifted him up on the stretcher, he showed his desperation and commitment to the cause by purposefully falling off it.
This proved to be just a momentary setback, though. And Alonso was then taken away, hopefully to be dumped into the sea.
Juventud did hold on and will face Emelec in the second stage.
Pedro scores on his Chelsea debut, Falcao declares it “Great, if you like that sort of thing”
Pedro scored and assisted Diego Costa’s first goal of the season within the first half hour of Chelsea’s 3-2 win at West Brom. It was a dream debut for the ex-Barca man and it inspired his new club to their first win of the season despite playing with 10 men after John Terry was sent off in the 54th minute.
The very best pictures from LA Galaxy v New York City FC
LA Galaxy v New York City FC was billed as the marquee match of the MLS season with both clubs loaded up with expensive, big-name talent. Though Robbie Keane, Giovani Dos Santos, David Villa, and Andrea Pirlo would all be on the pitch, the “British invasion” was the focus of the pre-match build-up as Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard would face each other for the first time in MLS (and roughly the nine millionth time overall in their careers).
Rafa Benitez’s first La Liga match in charge of Real Madrid in one picture
A 0-0 draw with newly promoted Sporting Gijon and Cristiano Ronaldo is already looking like he wants to murder the universe.
Marco Matias scores sublime volley off a sombrero against Leeds
Sheffield Wednesday’s Marco Matias scored a goal to remember in his side’s match against Leeds on Saturday. He received a long pass and got around a chasing defender by lobbing the ball over his head with one foot to set up an exquisite volley with the other.
This is just absolute perfection.
Croatia ban their own fans from Euro qualifiers to prevent more racist incidents
Despite sitting at the top of Euro 2016 qualifying group H, Croatia fear they could be dumped from the competition in their next match. This fear isn’t based in competitive concerns, though. It’s rooted in the growing number of racist incidents perpetrated during their games. So they’ve taken the extreme step of banning their own fans from their next three away matches in an effort to send the message that this behavior has to stop.
LA Galaxy parody NYCFC’s greasy Villa, Pirlo, and Lampard photoshoot
The LA Galaxy will host New York City FC this Sunday, so to prepare for the match, they decided to make fun of their fellow aging European talent collectors.
NYCFC gave the Galaxy plenty to work with by allowing their big three — David Villa, Andrea Pirlo, and Poku Frank Lampard — to be photographed wearing white tank tops and looking greasy by New York Magazine for some reason. So the Galaxy recreated this shoot with Dan Gargan, Alan Gordon, and Nacho Maganto.